Fears, Expectations And A Healthy Mind

Able Wanamakok

Apr 27, 2022

Able (Find Your Voice Asia) helps individuals find their diamond within & grow beyond the ego in order to find peace within & with others.

The buzzword nowadays is "mental wellness" or "well-being." Do you know what it means to be a being who is well?

Like many during 2020-2021, I went through an emotional winter within the confinements of my home dealing with what many would call a mid-life crisis or a cleansing of emotional junk in order to prepare me for my emotional spring.

I felt lost; I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay in my marriage, and I had intense worry about the welfare of my children and my future because I lost 95% of my work as an international presenter/host. I felt more unhappy than usual (which was very abnormal for me).

Since the abundance of time was (in some ways) made aware within me and many of us due to confinement, I reflected a lot on my thoughts, narrative and emotions. I realized that when I focused too much on the little problems that I perceived myself to have in life, the more ungrateful I became. Ungratefulness led to fear and narrowmindedness; therefore I reacted quicker while expecting others to please me, and it led me to feel unwell.

In my last article titled "Seek Growth Within Yourself To Find Peace In Life And Work," I explained that the first step toward peace is to be honest with who you are. And if I call myself a communication coach, I have to first know how to communicate with myself before I can teach others about mindset and communication connections.

What I realized about myself was:

1. I judge. I make both positive and negative judgments toward outer stimuli, which contaminates the true beauty of what is.

2. I have an ego. My ego limits my perspective and leads to my wanting to feel superior, which makes me less able to see others' true selves. It takes more awareness to consciously choose what to think.

3. I am selfish. We all are "selfish" to a degree because we need to take care of our basic needs, but how far do we allow our selfishness to go?

As I asked myself what seemed like a million questions about why I think certain ways and how my decisions would affect my children, I observed and saw my mind expanded and was able to see the bigger picture from a third-person perspective.

Being able to reflect and see ourselves as an "observer" allows us to gain a better footing toward where to grow our well-being and how to step forward synergistically with others, including family and those we may work with.

Our world is filled with the emotion of fear. Fear protects us from putting our hands into the fire and getting burned.

Expectations are also a protection mechanism that allows the ego (mind) to feel in control, which lessens fear. But these can also cause us to gain a false sense of security about our well-being.

What you have control over is not how others act or react to you; it's how you see your emotions and how you react based on your emotions. We cannot expect others to say what we want to hear or do because it enhances our feeling of control. People almost never say or do what we expect, so we are already setting ourselves up for "unwell-being."

We also cannot divide our personal ways of thinking from our business ways of thinking, as everything is linked. How we focus on improving our mentality also affects how we do business, and it extends to how we treat other colleagues and workmates around us. Mindset originates from the same person, no matter if it's personal or business.

Do not be guided by your fears and automatically judge yourself or others based on your own set of narratives.

Everyone has their own narratives, but narrow thoughts limit your destiny to become a creator.

I challenge you to rise above and be better than you think you can become.

Being honest means working toward self-mastery and raising your emotional intelligence to improve your relationship with self. When you accept all of yourself and are more connected with your self, your connections with others will grow—which then becomes a positive ripple that spreads in your life and others'.

I wish you joy, health and peace.

Contact me at able@findyourvoice.asia if you need guidance or needs questions answered.